Yes I Am A Dickpig

Current Obsessions: Alaska Thunderfuck, Sharon Needles, RuPaul's Drag Race.

Things you can call me: he, she, or Regis & Kelly Lee. As long as you call me, baby.

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People born in 1993-1999 have lived in three decades, two centuries, and two millenniums, and we’re not even 18 yet.

h4rryp0tter-summ3r:

normally I don’t post the lame “90s Kid Pride” shit but I love this one 

Reblog9 months ago with 287,579 notes

zackisontumblr:

If anybody asks if they know you from somewhere, look them in the eyes and say, “Do you watch porn?”

Reblog9 months ago with 182,154 notes

worldfamousprofessor:

just because you are legally allowed to say whatever you want doesn’t mean you aren’t a piece of shit

Reblog9 months ago with 4,678 notes
  • Male cashier with multiple tattoos (two of them are colored in with rainbow): How are you this evening?
  • Me: Pretty good. Starving, obviously. How are you?
  • Cashier: Not bad. I can't wait to get off my shift and get home to my boyfriend.
  • Woman behind me: Wait, you're gay?
  • Cashier: Yeah. . . ?
  • Woman: That's a shame.
  • Me: Why?
  • Woman: He seemed like such a wonderful man, it's a shame he's gay.
  • Cashier: Why is it a shame?
  • Woman: It's wrong! It's immoral, it's dis-
  • Me: Excuse me, but what's it to you if he's gay?
  • Woman: It's offensive!
  • Me: But how does it affect you?
  • Woman: What?
  • Me: Where exactly does it start to make sense that it affects you? A relationship is between 2 people, not 3.
  • Woman: *sputters a bit, then leaves without her food*
  • Cashier: . . . Wow, thank you.
  • Me: Ignorant people are the reason I claim to be allergic to the human race.
Reblog10 months ago with 130,853 notes

a-little-insane:

When I own my own house I’m going to install a speaker system throughout the entire place. That way when I play music it blasts in every room and I can literally strut my sexy ass from room to room. I suppose an iPod could serve a similar purpose…

Reblog10 months ago with 67 notes
Posted July 17th
reblog | 19,199 notes

scarletarcana:

Prank idea: Don a neon green morph suit and break into a news studio. Harass the weatherman. Nobody at home will know why he’s freaking out.

Reblog10 months ago with 109,540 notes
Posted July 12th
reblog | 53 notes
Posted July 6th
reblog | 25,542 notes

Tagged: #me #Sarah #omg #werk

Posted July 5th
reblog | 25,194 notes

sunshineowl:

oddreylu:

frompawntoqueen:

confusedanime:

mrpauleverett:

cassjaytuck:

HOW TO READ A BOOK

this is how I’m sitting now:

I’m an excellent drawer

This is so true

Exercise is for non book readers 

literally me.

gpoy

Posted June 28th
reblog | 142,397 notes

primeribofamerica:

literally me

“Was I ever crazy? Maybe. Or maybe life is… Crazy isn’t being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It’s you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever. They were not perfect, but they were my friends.”

Susanna Kaysen (via reclaimingslytherin)

Reblog10 months ago with 49 notes
Posted June 27th
reblog | 886 notes
Posted June 25th
reblog | 41,159 notes
partyrehab:

Drunken Gummy Bears
What you need to make them:
Alcohol of your choice
Bowl (with a lid is optional)
Fridge
Gummy Bears
How to make them:
Put your gummy bears (or other gummy candy) in a bowl of your choice. Pour the liquor you are using into the bowl and cover about a 3/4 inch over the top of the gummy bears. You can put a lid on them or leave them uncovered if you would like. These MUST be left in the fridge, if not they will fall apart and turn into a huge glob of goo. The minimum to soak these is about 5 days, but the longer the better for them! Make sure to stir them 1-2 times daily to get them evened out.
Fun facts:
You can use ANY kind of alcohol to make these.
Use flavored alcohol to make them even yummier!
7-10 equal a shot of the liquor you are using.
Yes, they will get you drunk - they are soaked in alcohol! ;)
They will stay good in the fridge for a very long time!
Serve them with a toothpick for cleaner eating.
What they look like when they are done:
(left is unsoaked - right is soaked in vodka)

partyrehab:

Drunken Gummy Bears

What you need to make them:

  • Alcohol of your choice
  • Bowl (with a lid is optional)
  • Fridge
  • Gummy Bears

How to make them:

Put your gummy bears (or other gummy candy) in a bowl of your choice. Pour the liquor you are using into the bowl and cover about a 3/4 inch over the top of the gummy bears. You can put a lid on them or leave them uncovered if you would like. These MUST be left in the fridge, if not they will fall apart and turn into a huge glob of goo. The minimum to soak these is about 5 days, but the longer the better for them! Make sure to stir them 1-2 times daily to get them evened out.

Fun facts:

  • You can use ANY kind of alcohol to make these.
  • Use flavored alcohol to make them even yummier!
  • 7-10 equal a shot of the liquor you are using.
  • Yes, they will get you drunk - they are soaked in alcohol! ;)
  • They will stay good in the fridge for a very long time!
  • Serve them with a toothpick for cleaner eating.

What they look like when they are done:


(left is unsoaked - right is soaked in vodka)

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