yeah but you're not me, nor my cat

Disclaimer: I post what I want, when I want. I'm very inconsistent in my interests and posts. Feel free to unfollow me, I could literally care less. This is a personal blog.

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People born in 1993-1999 have lived in three decades, two centuries, and two millenniums, and we’re not even 18 yet.


normally I don’t post the lame “90s Kid Pride” shit but I love this one 

Reblog2 years ago with 288,621 notes


If anybody asks if they know you from somewhere, look them in the eyes and say, “Do you watch porn?”

Reblog2 years ago with 261,692 notes


just because you are legally allowed to say whatever you want doesn’t mean you aren’t a piece of shit

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  • Male cashier with multiple tattoos (two of them are colored in with rainbow): How are you this evening?
  • Me: Pretty good. Starving, obviously. How are you?
  • Cashier: Not bad. I can't wait to get off my shift and get home to my boyfriend.
  • Woman behind me: Wait, you're gay?
  • Cashier: Yeah. . . ?
  • Woman: That's a shame.
  • Me: Why?
  • Woman: He seemed like such a wonderful man, it's a shame he's gay.
  • Cashier: Why is it a shame?
  • Woman: It's wrong! It's immoral, it's dis-
  • Me: Excuse me, but what's it to you if he's gay?
  • Woman: It's offensive!
  • Me: But how does it affect you?
  • Woman: What?
  • Me: Where exactly does it start to make sense that it affects you? A relationship is between 2 people, not 3.
  • Woman: *sputters a bit, then leaves without her food*
  • Cashier: . . . Wow, thank you.
  • Me: Ignorant people are the reason I claim to be allergic to the human race.
Reblog2 years ago with 181,303 notes


When I own my own house I’m going to install a speaker system throughout the entire place. That way when I play music it blasts in every room and I can literally strut my sexy ass from room to room. I suppose an iPod could serve a similar purpose…

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Prank idea: Don a neon green morph suit and break into a news studio. Harass the weatherman. Nobody at home will know why he’s freaking out.

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Tagged: #me #Sarah #omg #werk








this is how I’m sitting now:

I’m an excellent drawer

This is so true

Exercise is for non book readers 

literally me.




literally me

“Was I ever crazy? Maybe. Or maybe life is… Crazy isn’t being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It’s you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever. They were not perfect, but they were my friends.”

Susanna Kaysen (via reclaimingslytherin)

Reblog2 years ago with 49 notes


Drunken Gummy Bears

What you need to make them:

  • Alcohol of your choice
  • Bowl (with a lid is optional)
  • Fridge
  • Gummy Bears

How to make them:

Put your gummy bears (or other gummy candy) in a bowl of your choice. Pour the liquor you are using into the bowl and cover about a 3/4 inch over the top of the gummy bears. You can put a lid on them or leave them uncovered if you would like. These MUST be left in the fridge, if not they will fall apart and turn into a huge glob of goo. The minimum to soak these is about 5 days, but the longer the better for them! Make sure to stir them 1-2 times daily to get them evened out.

Fun facts:

  • You can use ANY kind of alcohol to make these.
  • Use flavored alcohol to make them even yummier!
  • 7-10 equal a shot of the liquor you are using.
  • Yes, they will get you drunk - they are soaked in alcohol! ;)
  • They will stay good in the fridge for a very long time!
  • Serve them with a toothpick for cleaner eating.

What they look like when they are done:

(left is unsoaked - right is soaked in vodka)